Mental State of Mind
by fanfictionlovewriter809
Summary: All that Amelia was doing was going on with her life as best as she could. Well as best as anyone could in a teens' mental psych ward. Her bitter memories still haunting her, and why did Dr. Elric and his brother seem familiar to her? When ever Amelia thought about them a migraine came into play. Rated T for a reason.
1. Chapter 1

**How it All Started- Chapter 1**

* * *

_Knock. Knock._

There was a quick rap on the door before it burst open, with a click the lights in the room flickered on. Light quickly filling the dark room, one of it's occupants groaning in irritation. "Alright Amelia, Kimberly time for medication! Get up you two!" a woman's cherry voice broke through the thick tension, before quickly heading off to her other victims. Leaving the door wide open.

Two beds, two occupants. The one closest to the door groaned more, trying to pull the covers over herself but to no use. Sleep practically bitch slapped her and told her to go home. With a sigh of agitation she threw the covers off of herself as she made her way to her part of the cubicles, grabbing some small scratchy towels, with a bundle of clothes and paired off with a toothbrush and toothpaste. Amelia checked through everything once more to make sure she had everything before heading off the the bathroom, the other occupant was already using it when she heard the curtains get pushed. Tiny tooth brush practically obscured by her hand,"Mornin' Amelia!~" her roommate chirped cheerily through the toothpaste.

All Amelia could do was groan in reply to Kimberly before stripping to take a shower. They had both seen each other naked and didn't care, especially since they had shared a room for about a month now. Amelia pulled the heavy teal blue curtains aside before stepping in, turning the shower on to the hottest setting she could handle, before reaching her hand outside the curtains. The stupid place decided to combine both shampoo and body soap saying it would be easier.

Amelia snorted at that, the foam couldn't stick on for crap and it immediately disintegrated from the force of the water before it could even reach her head. Not to mention would it even hurt to put it _in_ the shower? Hey eyes narrowed at this before she grabbed a but load of the stupid foam and quickly applied it on. Yes apply, it couldn't lather so all she do was rub it on.

The shower space was pretty big, and it practically took half of the bathroom with it. Amelia sighed in content at the feeling of the hot water on her back before quickly finishing up. Stepping out so her roommate could use it next, leaving it on the setting so as the hot water couldn't be replaced with cold water. Amelia had been in the stupid hospital or more specifically mental psych ward for almost 2 months now. It had given her enough time to get used to how things go on around this place.

Amelia slipped on her black sports bra and underwear. Baggy sweat pants to large on her due draw strings being removed courtesy of the hospital. Amelia used one of the rubber bands given to her, as to grab the excess waist band and tie the bundle of fabric in place. Deeming it satisfactory she applied a roll on deodorant and put on a long sleeved shirt and on top of that a batman t-shirt. The hospital always made it cold so then "the germs couldn't get to them" as they say. All of this topped off with a plastic wrist band that she had tried countless times to take off, all this impossible with no sharp tools allowed.

Shoes were forbidden so they were forced to wear socks with sticky patterns on the bottom of it, also courtesy of the hospital. Amelia had two layers since her feet were always the first to get cold, so it just made it slightly better for her. Amelia grabbed her miniature tooth brush as her roommate entered the shower, grimacing as she put on some of the hospital brand's tooth paste. Disregarding it as she brushed her teeth, Amelia looked up at her reflection her once bright hazel eyes now dull, skin pale and bags underneath her eyes. Her red hair longer and more tangled, reaching her shoulder blades. Amelia immediately looked down, finding her reflection repulsive. It was all her fault after all.

Amelia sighed before washing out the nasty paste with a swish of cold water. Amelia alerted her roommate that she would be going ahead of her before getting an OK back before leaving. Amelia left the room, making the door close ajar due to the hospital rule of always leaving it open. She made her way to the front desk, where they gave her pills with a cup of water in tow. She looked at the pills with a grimace, before taking it without hesitation. Amelia was just glad that they hadn't increased the dosage on her like last time, she saw the colors of the rainbow all day after it.

The lady at the front desk gave her a blank look._ Well at least she isn't faking being happy like some people._ Amelia just left the station before heading back to her room, grabbing her towels and other necessitates she dumped them in the linen hamper before once again going back to her room. Kimberly coming out just as she opened the door, Kimberly smiled over to her happily before taking her damp towels and leaving the room. Another policy of the hospital was that they required that the patients made their beds. Covering tucked around the mattress, linen and blankets pulled up over the pillow. This made Amelia want to laugh, she never did like cleaning at all when she was at home. Cans upon cans would line up at every possible flat surface, along with silverware and trash stack high next to them. Bundles of clothes strewn messily on the carpeted floor from rushing all the time, and lastly the bed. Cover messily piled and hanging on the edge, pillows scattered and water bottles filled the crevices with stuffed animals long forgotten.

Amelia frowned when she thought of this memory, memories that were supposed to be long forgotten but she couldn't seem to forget. This was all in the past and none of this would happen to her again, she was more than sure of it. The happiness son over taken by sadness as a smile turned into a frown. That's right she was here because this was all her fault, she deserved to be sad. Amelia's eye dulled as she continued to fix up her bed, this was punishment for her and she deserved it. _**"You stupid child! This is all your fault! I hope your happy,because you did it! You finally did it,**_** Amelia!"** _NO! _

Shaking her head Amelia waved off the bitter memory. A knock came at her door before it was pushed in, a male nurse,"C'mon get in the day room it's time for breakfast." before he headed out and down the hall. Amelia finished off her bed before leaving the room, her foot padded down the tile hallway. Th sticky patterns on the bottom of her fuzzy socks making noises that got on her nerves. She walked into the day room that contained an old TV behind a case of plastic to protect it. five table, 1 for the nurses to watch the patients, the others for the patients themselves. Waling over to the cart, she found a tray with a plastic cover her name taped onto it.

Grabbing it, she quickly headed over to the table she usually sat in. Amelia never did like eating breakfast seeing as though she never really did it breakfast. Amelia sighed knowing she had to eat something if she wanted to get out of here faster. It was all apart of this good behavior system that the hospital had. They deemed you fine and up to par with the normal world if you did the following: Ate well, not cause trouble, do well with the psychiatrist/doctors, and volunteer in group therapy. Amelia hated group therapy, they had it 7 times a day, that's right 7 times! This made her want to kill herself if not that then looking out at the caged windows would help just as fine.

Amelia seemed to sigh a lot as she grabbed an apple from her tray and bit into it, well at least she could eat something she liked. The fruit seemed fine other than the rest of the food that tasted like plastic and had the consistency of it. Amelia was more than sure that she had lost some weight here due to this fast diet, with a good cause of course. She grabbed her small container of apple juice and peeled back the aluminum before chugging it down. Ever since Amelia had gotten here she had been given these containers and had only seen cups from the employees.

Amelia looked out the window and say that it was particularly lighter than usual._7:50 AM. _Amelia had gotten used to telling time from the changed in light outside since they never did seem to bother with a clock in here or anywhere for he matter. Amelia had tried to ask the nurses what time it was but they never bothered in telling her as if it were a top superficial secret, and it annoyed her. So she decided to make a way of knowing on her own, by the time the nurses would come on scheduled. From knocking on her door in the morning, to the group therapy and meals, to lastly the night time.

She had gotten everything down and even knew when the nurses were to come in or take break. Heck even knew the shifts of who and who came in to work and when they didn't the substitute. Amelia knew this was over the top but it helped calm her down. Hell if Amelia wanted to she would be able to escape f everything went according to scheduled, which it usually had. Finishing up her food, Amelia picked up her tray before placing into the slot of the cart. She headed over back to her table in the back with was usually vacant, which was exactly how she liked it. She avoided eye contact with all the other patients along the way over.

Once sitting Amelia began to mentally count down until the door opened up into the day room,"Group therapy time kids!" Usually in the morning or would be the ones to start off the day, but they had a new doctor this morning. Short blonde hair with side bangs that stopped atop his eyes, golden eyes that shined brightly, and a large grin that took over most of his face. He wore a white long sleeved collared shirt and a green tie, to finish it off a doctor's coat and name tag.

He held a clip board in one hand and pen in the other," Hey guys! My name is Dr. Alphonse Elric, I'm here today since a your usual doctors couldn't show up today! Now since it's my first time here I'd like to get to know you all a little bit better, I have all your names down so when I call your name I want you to tell me a little bit more about yourself." With that said he immediately started going off the list. This is where I tuned out, this type of this didn't keep my interest. For some reason when I look at him I can't help but feeling all these emotions, I felt like running up to him and hugging and crying. This all confused me and I winced a little as a throbbing pain decided to make it's way to the back of my head.

I stared blankly at the floor, memories seemed to take it's turn when I blanked off. The pain in my head still prominent but not at bad as when it first raged it's head in. Why the hell was I feeling like this? I was so out of it I didn't notice my name being called, till my roommate tapped on my shoulder, I looked up slightly out of it,"Amelia? Would you like to tell something about yourself?" All eyes turned to me and I couldn't help but fidget in my seat. I hated being the center of attention.

"I'm Amelia...I like to draw and do gymnastics...I'm age 15..." That was all I could really tell about myself, nothing seemed to strike as important to me to tell him or the others. I looked up into his eyes, he was watching me closely with a strange emotion in his eyes that I couldn't seem to place. I had always been bad with emotions. The staring contest only continues for a few seconds longer before he continued on, cheeriness in his voice slightly lost but still bright.

_Damn, this head ache was back again. __Maybe I can ask the nurses for some pills or Advil._ Group continued on for some time, until the nurses began to call out the patients to take more medication. You could day I was surprised when I heard my name get called. _What the heck? Didn't I already take my medication? _As I walked out the door past Dr. Elric who was packing up, walking up to the nurses station,"Hi,...um I was called?" This caught the attention of the nurse, who gave me a strange look before ushering me in.

Here, I sat in the nurses station wondering what the heck was going on,"I'm sorry you have to hear this at a time like this Amelia, especially in your current situation. We're afraid your grandma had an incident..." I stopped breathing. _What? _My eyes widened as they continued on," While she was undergoing surgery she fell into a coma. They aren't sure how long she's going to last."

I gripped into my forearm, creating crescent shaped marks, blood bleeding out of them. My eyes glassy with unshed tears,"What? You're joking right? This is all a prank right?" I tried hopefully little laughs escaping me, but the serious looks on the nurse's face stayed the same, unnerving me. All I could do was sit there and watch things go by, my eyes watching yet unseeing. _No...no no no no! _A tear finally fell down, a gasp shooting from my mouth.

The nurse looked apologetically at me, as I gaped like a gold fish that had been beached an gasping for air. The tears wouldn't stop no matter how hard I tried, _I'm stuck here and I can't even see my grandma before she goes...no...please,no._ The nurse put a hand on my shoulder telling me I could go to my room, nodding, I stood up numbly. Not noticing Dr. Elric talking to a visitor with a long blonde pony tail, straight lipped as he watched me go by, golden eyes that seemed to stared deeply into my soul.

I stared back blankly at him as I walked back to my room, before turning my head away as another tear slipped. I numbly opened the door and closing it softly behind me, I zombie walked my way to my cold uncomfortable bed. Curling up under the covers, back facing the door as I cried my heart away. Hearing the same words going off like a mantra in my head _**"You stupid child! This is all your fault! I hope your happy,because you did it! You finally did it,**_** Amelia!"** _I'm sorry, I'm sorry... _sleep numbing away my pain but the words still fresh in my head like a newly cut wound.

* * *

_Flash Back_

_Tentative hazel eyes darted from side to side as they walked on the balls of their feet down the carpeted hallway. Although they were unable to see anything in the darkness, it hadn't deterred them of their determination to complete the mission at hand. The person froze upon hearing a strange noise behind her. running to hide behind the wall before peering in the direction of the mysterious noise._

_The mysterious noise had actually been the sound of a flushing toilet, a distraught looking girl stood washing her hands. Big white t=shirt that hung on one shoulder and large Hawaiian shorts. Brown shoulder length hair mused to the point of a bed's nest. She washed her hands with a zombie like expression before slouching back slowly over to her room with a click._

_Once making sure she was gone, the person looked around making sure there would be no more hindrances. Cost clear! A smirk took it's place on the owner before it continues on. The amble body tiptoed to the stairs before slowly slinking down, pausing whenever the aged wooden stairs moaned and creaked slightly at their weight. After five painful minutes of slowly descending the stairs, the figure stopped and listened._

_Hearing the ticking of a clock and the whirring of the AC, the figure was given the clear sign by said machines. Go! Go! Go! Go! The unknown figure picked up their pace, sprinting as they entered the kitchen and halted to a stop in front of the refrigerator. Hands placed firmly on the handle before giving a firm tug. The door swung open, releasing the cold trapped air as a light flickered on in the kitchen lights above them at the same time as the fridges' had._

_Frozen once more the figure slowly turned their head to a women with a black bobbed hairstyle dressed in black slacks and a v-neck floral shirt, high heeled boots tapped on the tiled floor as they looked at the girl or should I say daughter in front of them with a thin raised brow. A sheepish smile knocked off the shocked expression upon seeing the woman._

_Once the woman knew her daughter wouldn't respond to her questioning look, she sighed, "What are you doing up now? Aren't you supposed to be asleep or do you want a head start on your medication, Amelia?" she questioned slyly. The mother took on a smirk of her own, at the question asked. This wasn't the first time the mother had come down to something like this._

_The mom told this to her husband who had given her a weird look before promptly laughing all the while the woman just sighed. Amelia still looked at her with a sheepish smile growing bigger obviously not hearing her clearly before the mom sighed again Man I'm going to be doing a lot of sighing with this one. before repeating her irritating question._

_True to it's meaning irritation grew on Amelia's face as she turned her head back rapidly, to the contents inside the refrigerator, her red pixie bottom ear length hair swinging along with her," I would if it weren't for you ya know, I mean seriously who bangs open someones door in the middle of the night, shake them and ask if their awake?" She retorted back to her as she grabbed a can of coca cola from the fridge ," and besides, is it truly a crime to want to drink a pop?" challenging her mom with an arced brow back._

_Ever since summer had started Amelia's sleeping schedule had gone from going to bed at 10 pm to 6 am or when the long tale lights of the nest day appeared. It had been just yesterday night when she finally got on track only for it to be ruined by her evil mother._

_Said mom gave an incredulous look at her daughter, " Are you serious? At this time?" It was currently 5 am in the middle of the night give or take, or morning, it didn't matter. Amelia looked confused as she looked at the microwave clock, before shrugging._

_"Who wouldn't want such holiness at any given hour?" she smirked, her barefoot tapped against the tiled floors as she made her way to the sink, rinsing her can before wiping it dry thoroughly. She had picked up this habit from a friend not too long ago. Said friend had given her a weird look when she drank it straight without washing it, giving her a long speech about rat poisoning and dirt that could be on it. Not wanting any of what her friend warned her about made a habit of cleaning the rim and all of the precious can. Her sister saw her doing this and did nothing to contain her laughter's at the ridiculous idea of washing a soda can._

_Amelia's mom sighed before she quickly strode over to the kitchen counter to grab her keys and purse, "Whatever, I don't have time for this I have to go to work." her heels clicked loudly against the floor as she paused to a halt by the front door hand, holding onto it's handle," Tell you father to mow the lawn and power clean the driveway! I'm tired of getting letters from those damn community people!" she called before promptly exiting and locking the door._

_Amelia sighed in relief only for the door to swing open once more, her mom rushed in and grabbed a water bottle before she called out once again not stopping," Don't forget to take your medication or I'll shove it down your throat when I get back!" before leaving once more with a slam and a click of a lock. The ideas sent shiver down Amelia's spine but she knew she would never do it...right?_

_Irritation began to form as it made her brows furrow and lips pout, Amelia had to take medication ever since she was 8, and she absolutely hated it. I mean what child or even adult liked taking pills? The idea of the chalky substance scraping down her throat whenever she took it made her physically grimace. Amelia had to take it for ADHD in the beginning for about 7 years, before stopping it completely only for her to be diagnosed with depression and once more beginning her pill taking. Amelia had take all kinds of pills from capsules to the regular kind._

_Once a year had passed she was fed up with taking it, and had come up with a plan . She had to pretend to swallow it in front of her father which she almost got caught doing a couple times but got it down after a couple weeks. Amelia would promptly ask her father for a mug filled with apple juice and ice (A/N: That shit is amazing, apple addict for all!) to cover the pills, she would spit up the nasty thing in the mug, and it would dissolved before her father would even think about it._

_Taking medication made Amelia feel "un-normal" as she put it. Not to mention she had been bullied for her ADHD saying she would never pass or should just give up and die. The thought of before made her fist ball up tightly. Amelia after that was never the same happy girl she used to be, always frowning and eyes dull as she distanced herself from people around her. After school she would always stay home and read books she rented from the library but stopped going once she got followed by her bullies and picked on there as well. Reading online like fan fiction stories about her favorite books and anime/mange series was the thing she always did to pass the time._

_When ever Amelia had read stories she would have to re-read it a couple times to fully understand it since she would begin to forget what she had read. Even now Amelia still had issues remembering everything, which had caused her to struggle in school._

_Her eyes grew duller as she thought back before promptly shaking her head and began to pop open the tab and chug down the bubbly goodness before plucking the tab off and recycling the can. She looked out the window to see that it was morning out side and sighed, she was tired and now was her "bed time"._

_Fumbling around with the soda tab in her hand as she sauntered up the stairs to her room. Posters practically covered the entire room from black widow to chess and Einstein. Her room was rather dark only having one working light did that. Empty soda cans upon soda cans lined up on every flat surface she had in her room. Amelia hated cleaning, so cold dinners and empty plate and glasses were stacked on each other as well. Opening a zip lock bag, she tossed the tab inside with her collection of tabs she was saving up, before zipping it shut once more._

_End of Flash Back_

* * *

_Flash Back__  
_

_Amelia was awoken when it was around 3:36 in the afternoon, her father standing over her with a mug at hand and pills encased by his lose fist. Amelia sighed before swinging her feet over the side of the bed before promptly taking the frosty mug and the first two pills before placing them in her mouth._

_As she pushed the pills down into the mug as her father began to tell her that they would be gone along with her sister to check out the university she was planning on going to. Amelia only didn't care needless to say but listened, knowing she wouldn't be able to be left alone according to the rules of two hospitals._

_Your probably wondering what it meant, well you see when you get baker acted you either taken away from your home because you had caused harm to yourself or others. Amelia being baker acted twice for having cut herself as a way to feel better, but had gotten caught by the insightful eyes of her mother. The second time Amelia was baker acted she had tried to commit suicide leaving a large scar on her right arm. Being taken away for 5 days by each hospital all saying she had to do something if she wanted to leave. One being obvious is to never have anything sharp in the house and second was that she couldn't be left alone._

_Amelia watched the pills float to the bottom of the mug soundlessly as her father continued speaking to the ignoring Amelia. When Amelia began her third pill was when she heard her name and decided to pay attention ,"Your going to have to be with your grandma for a night or two while were gone," Quickly acting it out before handing the mug back to her speaking father. "We'll be back before you know it." her father at once saw that she was finished took the mug, before promptly handing her an apple (A/N: I can't help it...)_

_Amelia nodded to her father once before standing to go use the restroom. Both her and her father exiting her room, Amelia watched her father pace slowly down the stairs. His light brown hair being ruffled by his fingers as he sighed. Once noting that she was gone she quickly began to brush her teeth and shower._

_Once done she looked over to the mirror intently. Her face had yet to still loose the baby fat that she wanted gone more than anything, eyebrows over plucked from not knowing anything about it and being self taught being a huge part of it. Regardless though, she liked it, having remind her of a of old fictional character of hers from child hood._

_Her hazel eyes that were darker than usual were staring back blankly at her, the bags under her eyes from loss of sleep and being an insomniac, a light shade of purple but not too bad. Her side bangs framing her face, giving off a I just came out of bed look. Nodding before once getting dressed in dark skinny jeans, a zombie shirt, and her green crystal necklace which was a tribute to her deceased dog Lucky that had passed away a few years ago, just before valentines day._

_Grabbing her Invader Zim book bag she quickly packed batman t-shirts and other pairs of jeans into it with a couple pairs of sports bras. Deodorant? Check. Tooth brush and toothpaste? Check. Underwear? Yup... quickly she checked off everything on her mental list, before hauling the bag over her left shoulder and promptly leaving her room with one last glance._

_Rushing down the stairs with a pair of socks in hand and a cell phone and handkerchief, occupying each pocket. Kneeling down by the front door as her sister scrambled around trying to see if she had gathered everything she would need on this big trip of hers. Nyan cat plush and iPhone on one hand, keys in the other, practically ringing and clattering loudly against each other as she raced around the house._

_Amelia wasn't ever good with technology, in fact her phone had been called a dinosaur from her phone store many times, but Amelia was too stubborn to give it up. She just never found why it was so important to have such over the top electronics._

_Once she got out of thought, she saw that her mom and dad were already gone and in the car waiting for them leaving her behind with her scurrying sister. Amelia sighed before grabbing her battered converse shoes and quickly and tightly tying them on._

_Amelia promptly stood up, fully planning on leaving her sister behind like her parents had before she heard a desperate call of"Wait!", almost like an obidient dog, she stopped just outside the front door, watching her sister struggle with the amount of things in her hands. She was about to smirk before her sister practically forced half the items into her hand before rushing off to the mini van._

_Scowling, Amelia grabbed her key chain occupied with her house key and other charms off the glass table and shutting and locking the door testing it before heading over to the car. Once inside her parents raced off and out the driveway, trying to make it to the first meeting before it started. Amelia looking out the window, looked up at the skies observantly as they made a 30 minute drive to her grandma's house. Watching the dark and light shades of grey fade into white._

* * *

_Once being dropped off at the driveway she waved her family goodbye, before walking with her bag up to her grandma's house. Rapping on the wooden door twice before waiting, it wasn't long until a short version of her mother wearing lasses opened the door._

_Her grandma was smaller and tanner, circular glasses reminding Amelia of magnifying lenses. Her face slightly wrinkling up as she took in her grand daughter before cooing and hugging her "Oh! I missed you!" Amelia smiled lightly back in return before reply ,"I missed you to, Oma." The hugging held on before her grandma ushered her inside._

_The wooden door closing with a click._

* * *

_"How have you been? Have you grades been doing well?" Her grandmother asked, once she sat down with her at the dinning table. The coco clock ticking rythmatically in the background._

_Amelia nodded ," Yup, everything's going fine. A's and B's and one or two C's." Her grandmother nodded to this._

_"By the way Oma, how have Opa and the rest of the family been doing?" Amelia asked. She hadn't heard from them in 6 years, having a fight ensue with the family about how much money one owned and such broke them apart. Amelia didn't know about this until recently being told by her mother when she asked why she couldn't visit her cousins while they were over._

_Her mother grudgingly telling her. not liking the subject at all. Let's just say they hadn't talked out it ever again since that discussion. Amelia being over at her grandmother's house was a surprise to her, seeing as though she hadn't seen her in a long while either. Not to mention everyone was walking on thin ice as it is._

_Amelia nodded halfheartedly as she heard her grandmother talk on about the new stove and other kitchen appliances she got from her son's and daughters that were succeeding in her eyes. All of which them being doctors of course. Amelia was about talking to her grandmother for a while longer until a loud grumble had been heard._

_Amelia blushed embarrassed about having forgotten to eat the apple her dad so proudly presented her this morning. Her grandmother smiled knowingly before promptly asking," Hungry?" Amelia nodded while looking down at her lap._

_Her grandma chuckled at this before she stood up and began to move around the kitchen, her slippers tapping against the aged tile floors. Seeing as though their was only silence in the kitchen Amelia began to feel awkward, before she had promptly excused herself to the restroom._

* * *

_Once Amelia returned, she saw her favorite child hood food in front of her. Toast, butter and chocolate sprinkles. She smiled warmly at her grandmother who returned it back to her. Situating herself down before taking a bite of the precious treat. Humming in content as the yummy yet simple flavors overpowered her._

_The silence between them in the atmosphere was less tense than it had been before. Minuets ticked on as her grandmother checked the clock and seeing at what time it was she immediately left. Before returning 10 minuets later wither her grandfather who was a rather tall man, promptly 6,4 feet tall. His dark black eyes looking slightly dazed and blue as he looked around blindly, not fully seeing. His short think black hair cut short._

_Oma, setting her grandfather down in front of her across the table. It took him a while to realize someone was sitting in front of him ," Susie? Is that you? You look so young!" Amelia's grandfather crowed as he took Amelia in._

_Amelia sighed before smiling with amusement, Susie was her aunt who look absolutely nothing like her. Black should length hair and black eyes, non of which fit Amelia's description. "No Opa, It's me Amelia. Your 16 year old grand daughter." Amelia felt sad, Her grand father had developed dementia and obtained the legal title "Legally Blind."_

_Amelia knew he wouldn't remember but couldn't help but want to try and help him remember, even if it meant having to say who she was to him repeatedly. Her grandmother smiled tiredly at Amelia saying it wasn't worth it but Amelia was too stubborn to give up._

_Sighing her grandmother stood up and walked over to the cabinet and grabbed some pill bottles, once she came back with a good amount of pills that made Amelia's eyes widen in bewilderment. She knew her grandfather needed medication but even then this looked too much to be giving to someone._

_Once placing the pills on a little saucer, she grabbed a glass of water and pre-made salad from the fridge. Speaking to her husband in Indonesian that confused the heck out of Amelia but said nothing about it, and just watched the thing go on._

_"Ambil pil Anda, saatnya bagi Anda untuk mengambil pil Anda. **1**" Oma ordered softly._

_"Apa **2**?" Opa asked lost. He looked in front of him dazedly._

_Sighing her grandmother told him once more, voice slightly raised so he could hear her better," Aku bilang sudah waktunya bagi Anda untuk mengambil pil Anda. **3**"_

_Opa looked to be struggling with her words as he asked his wife again ," Maaf aku tidak bisa mendengar Anda? ... **4**"_

_Oma finally became irrated her voice shouting now ," San saatnya untuk mengambil pil Anda, pil ini tepat di fron Anda dan makan salad Anda dengan itu. Jangan minum terlalu banyak air lagi! **5**" poiting to each said item forcefully and slowly._

_" Oke **6**" before doing what his wife demanded him to do._

_Amelia and her grandmother sighed knowing this was going to be a long day and it was. Amelia had to help clean and cook with her grandmother. Not that she didn't like it but upon hearing her grandparents speak in a totally different language and not know a clue about what they were saying mad her agitated and she hadn't a clue why._

* * *

_Amelia was currently chopping up garlic, celery and other ingredients for the soup they were preparing to make. Her grandmother had been occupied with taking care of her husband to be able to help with the cooking, luckily Amelia knew what to do, having a love of cooking and watching her grandmother ever since she was a child._

_Her grandmother had often come over to take care of her and her sister when they were in elementary and middle school. Her dad and mom unable to make it home until late hours of the night. Amelia knew this because she had stayed up waiting for her parents to come home. Sitting on the steps of the living room as everyone else in the house slept._

_Amelia and her parents never had a close bond as she had with her grandparents, this for some reason made Amelia sad. Everyday Amelia would wait for her parents to arrive home and yet they still didn't have time to even say hello when they got back. After two years of doing this Amelia knew there was no longer any point of doing it anymore._

_Amelia would run around barefoot on the street and ride bikes with her neighborhood friends which her not surprisingly all boys. Amelia had never gotten a friend the same gender as her until she was in middle school, but Amelia was okay with that since she didn't care much about emotional things and wanted to venture out in the world._

_Seeing this her mom immediately put her in gymnastic by doing this Amelia was able to do what she loved and get some new friends that were girls. Amelia had done gymnastics for 4 years looking at it as an outlet until she grew bored of it. Having mastered flips and back flips as well as achieving balance that she was forever grateful for since she had been clumsy._

_Amelia shook her head as she immediately began cooking. Adding a little bit of oil to the pan she began to saute the garlic and dried shrimp. Cooking it until fragrant before adding water enough to fill 3 people. adding chicken bullion, salt, pepper and the other vegetables. She tasted it until she approved of it before quickly scrambling an egg and poured it into the boiling water all the while mixing it, to keep it from clumping._

_Adding the noodles to the dish and finished with green onion and celery as garnish before it was claimed done. She ate with her grandparents thinking thoughtfully since no one had bothered to talk and just enjoy the meal prepared. Once finished she cleaned up and bid her grandparents good night. Brushing her teeth and quickly showering before changing into her night clothes._

_She crept down the hall to not disturb her grandparents and into the guest room prepared for her. Choosing a bed out of the two before she grabbed the comforter and nestled into it. Keeping a light on as she slept throught the night._

_End of Flash back_

* * *

_Flash Back_

_Amelia woke the next morning with a crick in her neck, quickly she stood up and stretched. Hearing fast sets of cracks from around her body as she stretched a pose from her gym class that usually helped with this sort of thing. Once better she quickly exited the guest room to hear noises in the kitchen indicating that her grandmother was already awake._

_When Amelia stepped into the shower she immediately knew that today was gonna be bad, by the uncomfortable warmth and twisting in her stomach. Maybe her family was in trouble? A car accident? No, her mom called her last night...but she seemed stiffer when talking to Amelia almost as if she were mad... Quickly shrugging it off as nothing Amelia began to activate her shampoo, sighing softly as the hot water came down on her._

_Little did Amelia know, something was going on that would turn her life for the worst._

* * *

_Quickly exiting the shower, Amelia dried herself off and brushed her teeth. Getting ready for the day dressed in dark blue skinny jeans which had obtained a hole from her clumsiness on the knees. A t-shirt of the jokers top suit, and finally the green crystal necklace._

_Entering the kitchen to find her grandmother cleaning pots and dishes from breakfast. Her grandfather sitting their dazed like yesterday. Her grandmother turned to her, smiling, and bidding her good morning, which Amelia replied back with mornin'._

_Her grandmother's lips moved to talk to her again only to be interrupted by a loud ringing in the background, her grandmother immediately rushed over to the phone and began talking to the stranger. Amelia could hear a loud harsh tone speaking hurriedly and breathing deeply. Once she was done talking, her grandmother called for Amelia saying that someone was on the phone for her._

_She saw a confused look in her grandmother's eyes as well as something else she just couldn't seem to place,"Hello?" Amelia asked starting to get that bad feeling back in her stomach._

_"Amelia." It was her mother and sounding pissed off, her voice was harsh._

_"What's wrong? Did something happen?" Amelia asked warily._

_"Come outside, I need to speak to you. I'm in the driveway in front of Oma's house." Her mom's voice clipped, hanging up before Amelia could open her mouth._

_Amelia looked at the phone and placed it back on it's holder looking over to her grandmother and saying she'd be right back. Confusion laced into her tone. Her grandmother took this in; the same look she held in her eyes stronger than before, nodding once her grandmother turned to her husband before ushering him to bed._

_Amelia felt the uncomfortable feeling in her stomach before unlocking the door and heading out._

* * *

_Amelia looked more and more confused by the second expecting to see the mini van there containing her family only to find a small silver car, her sister in the passenger looking sadly at her but confused as to what was going on as well._

_Taking steps forward to the car before her mother slammed open the door and paced straight up to Amelia._

_Amelia flinched back and felt slightly scared but pushed it down when she saw the look in her mother's eyes. "Wha-" before Amelia could even ask she was promptly smacked across the face. Shock adorned her eyes and she stared into her mother's furious dark ones. Amelia rose a trembling hand up to her cheek feeling the swelling beginning to happen from the harsh slap._

_Her hands shook as tears pricked in the corner of her eyes from the pain, they stared at each other before her mom smacked her more only stopping when she heard a "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Her mother looked behind her to see her mom rushing out the door. Amelia continued to look forward, too shocked to look back at her grandmother's interruption from the slapping fest._

_Amelia caught eyes with her sister, she looked just as shocked as her from what she had just witnessed before a pained look appeared in her eyes. What her sister did next made her tremble further, she turned away not before mouthing something Amelia couldn't quite understand but she knew the gesture and a painful weight began to take it's toll on her._

_Her mother looked at Amelia once she was done speaking with her mother who she had yet to turn to. Before her mom rushed to her trunk and grabbing out a suitcase and heaving it all the way over to Amelia, dropping it in front of her carelessly._

_Her mother looked down at her child in anger and remorse, remorse for even having her in the first place," This is all your fault remember that you, bitch. You are no longer apart of the Silver family anymore. Your father is gone as well, and I hope you are happy, because it was because of you we got a divorce," Taking in a deep breath that was meant to calm her mother but only made her even more furious as Amelia felt her eyes turn glassy._

_"We don't want to see you anymore and don't you dare call us ever again." With that her mom left her and slammed the door shut as she drove away with a guilty looking sister in the passenger seat. Nothing needed to be said at the moment as Amelia shook and trembled._

_Why did this have to happen to her? What did she do? Why? I'm not longer wanted. With each question asked before the last statement pushed her towards the breaking point. Her tears she had held back to look strong did nothing to comfort her, she felt anything but strong at the moment. I'm no longer wanted... the tears Amelia held back finally fell. Pouring down to drip onto the dark driveway below her._

_I'm not wanted... her heart pounded painfully_

_Mom hates me...Another jab_

_I'm alone..._

_Amelia couldn't take anymore blows that came at her as her mind slowly began to shut down. She felt like a vulnerable child. The same one when she had been bullied had come back to haunt her. As her eyes dully took in everything happening to her, she didn't even notice a drizzle beginning to happen until her grandmother put a hand to her shoulder ushering her in the house with a firm grip._

_Once she was set back into the guest room her grandmother left her to have some time to think on her own. Her tears continued never seeming to want to stop. That day Amelia no longer cared about what happened anymore, she didn't want to be seen crying anymore, she was tired of being weak... and yet she continued to cry tears, and she hated herself for that._

* * *

_Weeks had passed and Amelia was helping out in the kitchen, cooking as her grandmother helped her husband take his pills._

_Amelia clutched her jade crystal that hanged from string around her neck. This had always helped to calm her down but today it just didn't seem to do much. Ever since the incident Amelia had never truly smiled like she used to. Her grandmother had helped her out in the first few days but once Amelia gathered herself and acted happy she stopped. Something Amelia knew would happen. Amelia didn't want help. She wanted to overcome this herself and yet every night she always seemed to cry herself to sleep when she tried._

_Think back on the past always brought tears to Amelia's eyes. Even though Amelia hadn't been allowed to call them. Deep inside she waited for her sister heck even her mother to call her and apologize. Heck even say ha, pranked you! Thought you could get away with whatever you did? Nope! Nothing, nada, ziltch! No one called not even her father who was no longer apart of the family. Like her both outcasts._

_You would think that after everything that had happened that at least her father would call and see how things were doing. Come over and then talk about it with each other on what had happened. Amelia knew all these scenarios were to good to be true and continued watching the crystal clutched in her hand. Her hands trembled when she thought over the situation but shook her head. She had to get her mind out of the gutter, it would do no good. She learned fast that tears never truly helped any situation, and she wasn't about to get sympathy from her grandmother now. Not after all she had done in the weeks with her. It would have been all for nothing._

_Amelia always forced smiles when she was with her grandmother, who seemed to fall for it. Quickly taking her pills with some water and bite of an apple as she cooked. Watching her grandmother help her grandfather take his pills. Amelia excused herself to the bathroom not being able to take in the silence that over took the kitchen. Rushing to the bathroom before quietly closing it, Amelia looked in the mirror._

_She wore dark clothing. A black long sleeved shirt that went passed her hands it's material thick yet thin as to not make her too hot. Black skinny jeans that were looser than when she had first come Her red hair had grown longer reaching shoulder length as side bangs covered her eyes. She hated seeing them, seeing the emotions she no longer wanted to feel, but felt anyway._

_She had gotten paler and thinner from staying inside and not wanting to eat. The bags under her eyes darker, almost like a bruise. Her cheeks were fine except for a bruise or two that refused to leave. Then finally her eyes, they were dark with pain and sadness, the bright eyes that flashed happily was no longer there._

_Then she just burst into tears, sobs racking her body as she knelt to the floor. She didn't want to feel this pain anymore. She was tired of dealing with this everyday. Forcing a smile upon her face to make others feels happy. Everyday was like a living hell for her and she couldn't take it any more._

_Looking through the cabinet below the sink she found what she was looking for, her prized possession that she had gotten a hold of two days after the incident. She pulled up her long sleeved to admire the past cuts and scars she had. They littered her arms and legs, some old some from just last night._

_She smiled sadly, before taking a firm hold of her razor. She felt bad for doing this but she couldn't take it anymore. Turning on the shower until the bath was completely filled. stopping as she looked at herself one last time in the reflection. What she saw made her feel pathetic and angry at herself. the cuts seeming to add more to the affect._

_She knelt by the bath tub, tears dried up on her face. She pushed the blade across her wrists deeply watching the blood pour and bead up. Stinging pain was all she felt and she relished in it. She had never felt so alive and yet she knew that this would be her final moment and she was okay with that. Nothing held her back anymore to this useless world. No friends, family that she took close to in her heart._

_She continued to cut deep cuts until dizziness began to over come her, blood made the tub water a dark pink and she slowly felt darkness begin to take her. It's funny how dying makes you feel so alive. Cutting once more before she dropped the razor beside her. Her cheek pressed against the cold rim of the tub. her hands in the bathtub and she slowly died from blood loss._

_The last thing she heard was the door open and a gasp before the darkness took over her completely. One thought over came her mind as she knew it was her grandmother that had found her dying and close to death. She felt horrible and she felt hands try to shake her awake knowing it was futile._

_She couldn't move anymore and could only hear things as she heard her grandmother call the paramedics. No. Don't save me. Let m die. I'm tired. Please, let me sleep. She heard her grandmother return feeling a finger on her neck to check her pulse. Too late._

_Goodbye._

_Was the last thing she thought before allowing darkness to take her completely._

* * *

_Flash Back_

_Amelia woke up every now and then hearing strange sounds. Even though she couldn't see anything all she hear was frantic yelling and an annoying beeping that seemed to shrill and echo. "Doctor she losing too much blood, I ca-" Amelia closed her eyes tighter. Why won't they let her sleep? She was so tired and yet she felt her heart racing, frantically pounding in her rib cage and making Amelia slightly panic but for someone reason she couldn't really bring herself to care._

_Amelia couldn't move any part of her body, they seemed to be as heavy as lead at this point. She could feel light trembles and then nothing. Suddenly she felt something slam on her chest making her back arch from the pressure. Hands held down her arms and legs keeping Amelia from falling off the gurney. They had connected Amelia to a heart monitor and were currently giving her heart a start trying to bring her back to life. Her shirt ripped open showing of her sports bra and scars from self cutting. Her necklace pushed to the side as the jade crystal hang loosely off the gurney, shining dully which seemed to fit the situation. Her fingers forming a loose fist, which lay off to the side._

_As they did this the doctor and nurses raced through the halls avoiding anymore trouble and kept from bumping into any other occupants and patients of the hospital. her grandmother looked worriedly over Amelia watching as the doctor's hauled her away. She held tightly onto her husbands arm that didn't seem to know what exactly was going on._

_Hands gripped the victim convulsing on the gurney and the silver bars to steer them into a room on the east wing. Nurses ran behind the people and on the side one holding onto the heart monitor to make sure it didn't disconnect itself from the patient and go flying off in the hurried frenzy. A doctor shouting at the nurses of what to get for the procedure sending off only a few but kept other to help bring the patient._

_The doctor turned his head to the victim taking in the appearance of her. Before calling out "How are her vitals!?" He let one hand go of the bars and checked the temperature of Amelia feeling nothing but cold clammy hands. The frantic nurse quickly read the vitals her eyes wide in shock at the numbers. "Not doing well, sir! Her heart rate is dropping low and I don't even think we have blood for this type of patient even if she does make it through!"_

_The doctor cursed before they came to a stop in front of a room hurriedly pushing the door open and ushering the crowd in._

_The havoc continued as Amelia's brows furrowed. How long were they going to continue to yell? Didn't they know it was rude to disrupt someone sleeping? God people of this new generation seemed to loose all their manners lately._

_Beep-beep beep-beep._

_My god was that sound getting on her nerves. She moved to shut off her alarm clock but only seemed to get nothing as a result of it. Her eye shut tighter as she felt a slight pain and tugging on her chest. Her breathing starting to become more and more shallow as time went on. Each time she tried to take in a breath it felt like someone was sitting on her preventing her from doing so._

_Her chest felt so heavy, even though she knew she should be panicking about not being able to breath, she felt so calm and relaxed. She wanted to sleep and yet she felt like someone was preventing her from doing so. Growing angry at the person she shut her eyes tighter if that were possible and tried to go to sleep._

_"We need to get a grip on her! We're losing her Sarah get th-!" the alarmed person called to someone but Amelia couldn't bring herself to understand the rest of what the person had been calling weight on her chest seemed to grow heavier with each passing moment and breath she tried to take._

_Amelia tried to take her mind off what was currently happening around her. Amelia immediately thought back to the problem that had occurred earlier in the past weeks. The thought of it only seemed to add a jab to the current condition she was faced with at the current time. No, before that she wanted to try and recall something but she couldn't remember._

_Beep-be-beep. The annoying shrill of her alarm grew high in tempo but Amelia ignored it. What was it oh yeah the call..._

_"Some stabilize her dammit!" The person yelled out in frustration. Funny the doctor was empathizing with her and how she had felt currently at the moment. Oh yeah that was how she felt, the moment she recalled had been of when her mom had called her grandmother. Amelia could still remember the harsh clip of the person her Grandmother talked to._

_Amelia recalled the look in her grandmother's eyes that seemed to confused and irritate Amelia to the core. What was it? Confusion? Oh no doubt was that going on between her and her grandmother at the moment but she could tell that wasn't it, what she was trying to figure out wasn't anything close to that._

_"Hurry! Get th-!" God shut up will you? I'm trying to remember something here! What was it? Was is happiness? Of course not that wasn't it at all stupid me...Still trying to think anger? No but that certainly how Amelia would be if the person didn't shut up at that moment._

_Before all she saw was blackness._

_End of Flash Back_

* * *

_Flash Back_

_Amelia awoke startled, she wasn't in her bed. _

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

_**What? **Amelia turned her head to the obnoxious sound, suddenly remembering all of last night. **Shit.** Her grandmother had caught her in her most pathetic moment, close to death on the edge of the bath tub from suicide. Amelia placed her face in her hands, groaning. Amelia noticed her arm bandages, dried blood showing through and making it hard to move._

_A knock on the door made her flinch as a man in a white coat walked in, a nurse at his side,"Ah, your awake Amelia, that was a close call you had last night." All that Amelia could do was nod, processioning what was going on," You know your actions have caused this to happen...but I'm sorry you are now baker acted. **3 times a charm...** Your grandmother had informed us that you are now under her care and had agreed to this and has signed the forms." the nurse beside left the room before returning, wheeling in a wheel chair coming to a stop beside the bed. Helping her into it and making sure everything was alright, unhooking her from the heart machine.  
_

_The doctor gave a nod to the nurse, before she began to push Amelia to the elevator. After this Amelia sighed, ready to accept her fate as she was wheeled through double doors._

_End of Flash Back_

* * *

Alright! If you guys read this before then you know that I basically recycled some of my old chapters. I wanted to change up the story a little bit more since I wasn't having much inspiration with the other one. So leave a comment about how you think this turned out. Criticism is welcomed!~

The conversation between the grandparents:

**1-Take your pills, it's time for you to take your pills.**

**2-What?**

**3-I said it's time for you to take your pills.**

**4-I'm sorry I can't hear you...**

**5-San it's time to take your pills, these pills right in front of you and eat your salad with it. Don't drink too much water again.**

**6-Okay.**

- M


	2. Chapter 2

How it All Started Part 2

* * *

Flash Back~

_First day of ...this and she was already freezing her ass off on the first night._

_Amelia woke up on the bed given to her, shivering under the thin covers trying to keep warm. It was dark outside and Amelia couldn't sleep, she was no novice to being Baker Acted. She had been Baker Acted before so she sorta knew how things worked around here, even if it was a different hospitals she knew as good as hell that they had the same rules._

_She shivered once more and curled into a ball, her bed creaking at the movement in protest. She silently cursed the robes she was given for being so damn thin as she huddled herself closer to the blankets trying to get warm but to no avail. "Hey..." Amelia froze at the voice. Looking to her right to see her roommate staring at her from her own bed. Her features hard to tell in the darkness of the room but it was obvious she was a girl, "Do you wanna borrow some clothes? I know it's pretty cold here and those robes don't do much..."_

_She was being offered clothes by someone she didn't even know, her parents told her not to talk to strangers especially her mom... Wait! Why should she care!? She no longer was apart of their family, her mom made that crystal clear. Without hesitation Amelia nodded furiously, anything to get warm. Her roommate got up from her bed quietly and started to walk through the dark room._

_Now that her roommates face could be seen a little better due to the rule of the door always having to be open, and of course lights were on in the hallway. he could tell she had long blond hair and blue eyes. Brown/ Orange freckles danced across her cheeks and nose slightly visible on her tan skin. Her nose slightly upturned. Amelia couldn't help but think she was very pretty. Amelia lost in her thought didn't notice the girl standing in front of her with the clothes in hand. _

_Amelia blushed in embarrassment before quietly thanking her and rushing to the bathroom. Pushing aside the heavy ,thick teal curtains that reminded her of the dentist, she flicked on the lights. Immediately regretting it as brilliant white light burned her eyes. squinting her eyes as she waited to get used to the burning evil lights, once better she looked at the clothes in front of her. Tye-dye shirt and light pink sweat pants. _

_Amelia grimaced but remembered she was freezing her ass of and put it on, the shirt and pants where a little tight on some places but fit non the less. Amelia looked in the mirror grimacing once more at herself in the mirror. Her skin still pale, bags under her dull eyes, frown tight on her lips, all of this surrounded by messy short red hair. She hated looking at herself. Quickly looking away from the mirror she shut off the lights and left the bathroom. _

_Amelia face her roommate's bed to see she was asleep now, sighing she shuffled back over to her own and hoped to get some sleep. Before she drifted off she heard her roommate again,"My name's Kimberly by the way, Kimberly Samuel." Amelia smiled slightly at this before whispering,"Amelia," letting herself get taken to sleep._

End of Flash Back~

Amelia had been staring blankly at the ceiling of her room, she didn't know how long she'd been there but she didn't care. Amelia was officially a zombie now, her mind plagued with worry about her grandma. She lay limply in her bad and didn't notice a knock on her door until the door itself swung open. Amelia didn't bother to look and see who it was as she continued starring at the ceiling.

"Amelia, it's lunch time." **_oh it's a_****_nurse_****.** Amelia lifted herself off the bed and followed the nurse back to the day room. Her eyes starred blankly at the cart, before taking her food and shuffling to a table by the window. Not noticing to the worried looks shot at her from her roommate. **_I deserve this, but my grandma doesn't. What did she do to deserve it? I can't even see her, I hope she's ok. Oh, god... This is my fault. DAMNIT DAMNIT DAMNIT! If I hadn't been to preoccupied with myself I would've been able to stray away from this hellhole and take care of her. Maybe even stop the accident before it even happened. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry._**

Amelia heard a wooden chair scrape against the floor in front of her. Amelia slowly looked up as her blank eyes stopped on the form of doctor Elric. _**What does he want?**_Doctor Elric looked at her with worry in his eyes," Amelia? Are you ok?," Amelia almost laughed at this but hid it,"I'm fine Dr. Elric, just pondering my thoughts." Amelia replied with a fake smile and blank eyes. Dr. Elric didn't buy it at all. Dr. Elric sighed, come with me, Amelia." before standing up and promptly waiting for her to follow this action.

Amelia slowly doing so, before following after Dr. Elric out of the Day room. Coming to a stop Dr. Elric pushed open the door to his office, ushering for Amelia to enter and take a seat. When Amelia walked in, she paused staring at the other person or people in the room, "Mom? Sis?" Amelia couldn't help but blurt out, but she knew that she was only lying to herself. Her mother or ex-mother merely turned to look at her, her face passive, not beholding of any emotions unlike Amelia's who gaped at her. Next to her was her sister who looked at anywhere but her.

Her usually strong older sister, shyly looking to the floor? _** What's going**__**on?**_**_Why are they here?_**Amelia sat down on the far side of the room across her ex-family members.

Dr. Elric stood between them, leaning/ sitting on the edge of his desk," Well your mother and sister are here to see you to talk about further details on the issue going on, and I'm here to supervise due to the rules of the hospital." Dr. Elric practically recited.

"Yes, that's true," her ex-mother spoke, continuing,"I'm just here to get your signatures for these papers to complete the transaction going on." With that she held out a stack of papers and a pen. "From here on you're no longer apart of the Silver family." Her mother sneered at her. Amelia looked at hr mother and she could tell this was the happiest she has ever seen her mother. Amelia wanted to puke.

She felt her heart break even more as she took the papers and pen from her mother with a pale face, her hands slightly shaking. _**Don't cry, don't cry, don't**__**cry.**_Amelia stared blankly at the papers, she seemed to be a zombie a lot lately, her hands continues to tremble as her blurry eyes read the few words that for told her future.

_Annulment from parents/guardians from proclaimed emancipation. _Amelia's lip quivered but she took a deep breath and calmed herself.

Her eyes shined but tears never fell as she signed the papers accordingly. She took a deep breathe as she handed the papers back to her ex-mother.

She took one last look at her sister who didn't look back at her. **Why?**

Her mother sneered at her one last time before roughly grabbing her sister by her forearm. **Why?**

It was finally then her sister looked at her but not before mouthing those same words to her from before. Amelia's eyes widened, glistening eyes filled with un-shed tears._** Why?!**_

As he mouth formed the words Amelia felt a gut wrenching feeling in her stomach. _**NO! WHY!?**_

_I'm __**NO NO NO**_

_Sorry._** WHY!**

The door shut after them with a slam. Amelia couldn't seem to form words as a tense atmosphere took hold of the room, so thick you could stab a knife in it. Amelia repeated the thoughts in her head like a mantra as a single tear fell from her eye. Amelia's hand formed a tight grip, her nails digging into the palm of her hand forming crescent shaped marks.

Amelia had officially lost the family she had been so attached to. She hadn't a clue why, though she did know it had to do with her father. He wasn't present today for the meeting. What happened with her family?

Just how much more was she going to lose? She lost her family. Her grandma was close to dying and she wasn't there for her. Stuck here. Without any go ahead from Amelia stood uo form her chair and left the room.

_**Why.**_

* * *

Alright! 2nd chapter done! Sorry for it being short but I'm going to have to cut some things because of online courses. Hope you liked!~ Criticism welcomed.


	3. Chapter 3

Weeks had gone by. I have yet to hear about my grandma, I hope she's alright. I miss her, I miss the outside world. The only thing that helps calm me down a little is looking out the window, but even then I grow depressed when I see that it's caged. My roommate had tried taking to me, but I ignored her. I just couldn't handle it anymore, hell even thinking about it makes me was wail out in frustration and sadness.

_I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. THIS IS ALL OF YOUR FAULT, I HOPE YOUR HAPPY BECAUSE YOU DID IT. YOU'VE FINALLY DONE IT. _

_**STOP.**_I gripped my head, tugging at my hairs harshly. **_SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT_**** UP!**

No I couldn't let them get to me, I made it this far and I'm not going to start crying now. I wouldn't let my emotions get to me. _I'm sorry._ I tugged harder on my hair, gripping at my head furiously. Taking deep breathes as to calm down the emotions that try to control me. My hair had grown longer now, reaching the small of my back.

I was okay with seeing as though it covered my face, I didn't want anyone to see the emotions trying to overcome me. I felt as if I was going insane here, trying to bottle up my emotions seemed to be a very heard feat.

I'm in the day room right now, sitting at the table I seemed to have claimed mine based on how no one comes here. I play with the hem of my sweat shirt, I lost weight while I was here. The clothes I wore before was loos, but now it was just trying to drown me in it's fabric clutches. I brought my knees up to my chest, tucking them underneath my chest as I turned to stare out the window. I pushed up my sleeved and began to scratch at the scabs on my forearm, they healed well but left behind rows upon rows of scars.

**_I wish I would've succeeded. NO don't talk like that think about the grandma waiting for you? Imagine how sad she'll become if your gone. When your out you can go and see_**** her.** At the last though I stopped scratching, yes I'll get out of here and see her. She'll be my goal. To be my utter best no matter what. I smiled happily at the thought.

"Amelia! Time for your pills!" I grimaced at the thought of taking pills but toughened up and headed over to the nurses station. Ever since I had the meeting with **them** I had an outbreak and went crazy. Stopped eating, couldn't sleep, didn't even try talking anymore. This caused my dosage to be upped higher then I've ever had before. The mini cup was filled with pills of all colors and sizes, all of which did different things. One helped calm me down with my newly found anxiety, another helped me with sleep, the others were for depression and such.

Chucking them all in one go, I forced them down with a splash of water. Setting the cups down I opened my mouth to show the nurse I had taken it before walking off. I walked off and back to the table, as I began to blank out my roommate came over and sat with me. We stared at each other for a little bit in silence, before she began talking, "Look I don't know what happened to you back then but I want you to know, we can talk about it with each other," I gave her a bank look, but she continued ignoring the face I was giving her," It's not good to be holding all of these emotions in. Now spill!" I continued to look at her blankly, her eyes filled with determination.

I sighed and gave in, telling her everything that had happened to me before. She gave a gasp, before trying to comfort me. To avoid anymore tension I tried with a new topic," So anything new with you?" Kimberly gave me a huge grin, her dimple showing through and blue eye shining," I'm going home! I didn't think I would but I am! I'm so happy to get out of here!" The more she continued the wider her grin became. I smiled softly at her, not being able to help feel a bit envious of her but shook it off. I was glad she was leaving this hell hole, if she could do it then so could I.

Kimberly continued to talk to me about what she would do when she finally got out and I listened with a smile on my face. As if on cue a nurse came by the doorway and called Kimberly to pack her stuff, walking over to her she talked a little with the nurse, who nodded before walking off. Kimberly came prancing back through," Hey, mind helping me pack up some of my stuff with me?" Her face glowed with happiness as I smiled and nodded. With that we walked down the hall, well Kimberly skipped but you get the point.

We were both given two paper bags before we started folding her clothes and placing them in the bags, once done we hugged each other for a long moment. My heart tugged at this, but I ignored this. I knew I would miss her, but this was for the best. I grinned at her for the first time in weeks but a stern look made it's way through my eyes," Now, you better not off yourself back her, you got that? I better not see you here in one of these hell holes got that?" Kimberly looked at me, grinning back," Same to you!" We grinned at each other wider before hugging each other again.

"I'm going to miss you." I felt my eyes water up as I hugged her tighter, she did the same and I felt a wet feeling on my shoulder," Me too. Oh! Wait a moment!" Kimberly cried out, she ripped out a piece of the paper bag and took a pencil that she hid out from inside her pillow. She quickly scrawled on it before handing it to me, "Give me a call when ever you get out!" My eyes widened a little before they softened and I took the paper.

Grabbing my sketch book and tearing out a piece of paper and took the pencil from her and wrote down my number before giving it to her. She took the slip from me and we smiled at each other before a nurse knocked on the door frame," Alright Kimberly your parents are here! It's time for you to go." The nurse smiled gently at us, as we hugged each other for the third time that day, before letting go of each other. We all walked down the hall before I came to a stop at the door. The nurse scanned her ID and punched in her number, and pushed the door open. She ushered Kimberly through before the door slammed closed, I smiled at where Kimberly had once stood with the nurse.

The tugging at my heart came back again, as I felt the tears slip from my eyes. My friend was gone, and I was alone. I heard footsteps break through my train of thought and furiously rubbed my eyes. Disposing any evidence that I actually cried, before turning to see who it was. My smile slipped from my lips as I saw who it was," Dr. Elric?" only frowned to me, but it wasn't just him there, it was the same guy from last time. Golden hair and eyes, frown on his face as he watched us.

"Dr. Elric? Did something happen?" My frown deepened as I watched him in concern as his face turned dark," I'm sorry to inform you but your grandmother has passed away."

My heart stopped when I heard the news. I looked blankly down at the floor, staring at the tiles. **Why? **I couldn't stop what happened next, as I felt tears drip from my eyes and onto the floor. My shoulders quaked as I sobbed and fell onto my knees and to the cold floor. This is my fault,"DAMMIT, DAMMIT, FUCKING DAMMIT!" I couldn't help the colorful words that fled my mouth, my anger and sadness taking control the bottle holding all the emotions breaking into millions of shards.

_**Why why why why why why why. I'm stuck here and wasn't even there to see my grandma taking her last breath. I should have been there, but I was to take up in my self pity to notice anyone other then myself. I should have done better, been there for her, taking care of grandpa. **I'm sorry sorry sorry sorry THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT I HOPE YOUR HAPPY YOU DESERVE THIS YOU DESERVE ALL OF THIS_

_I'm sorry. _

I didn't even notice that I had began scratching at the old scars, until I felt a stabbing pain and blood dripping onto the floor. I felt hands on my shoulder and arms as they stopped me from doing anymore damage to myself. I struggled against them, cursing them out, I loved this pain and I deserved it. I did. Not them, or anyone else me! I began to laugh as tears ran down my face. I felt the pain get worse in my arm as I continued to struggled against the hands holding me down.

There was nothing left for me anymore, nothing holding me down. I just don't care anymore. With a rush of adrenaline a newly found strength overcame me before the emotions took over me. I shoved the hands off of me, punching and kicking wildly. My hands actually connecting with skin as more hands continued to grab on. I was vaguely aware of screaming and running footsteps before I felt something being stabbed into my arm and everything was blank.

* * *

DONE! Tell me how you think! Sorry I haven't been updating! School holding me behind.

- M


	4. Chapter 4

When I came to, I was strapped to a bed. Thick leather straps pinning and holding me to the hard mattress, taking everything in going on around me I saw that I had been bandaged where I hurt myself. Dried blood darkening spots of the crisp white bandages with a dark maroon brown. White walls surrounding me, and a door to my left leads to the bathroom. I checked the sturdiness of the straps to find that they were easy to pull against, I smirked at this.

I thanked the Gods that I had grown thin and strong, I shivered slightly from the coldness of the room. I saw they had me dressed in the hospital gown. Well dammit, I hated this gown so much, doing nothing to hide anything and the thin material leaving me bare to the harsh cold air. Goosebumps fluttered my skin, no I have to get out, I **needed** to leave this damned hospital.

I pushed harshly against the straps and saw that they left some room for me to slither away, taking my chances, I looked around the room quickly seeing that it was night time and they had so stupidly left me with no one to watch. Squirming from underneath the straps I soon found myself free of it. Smirking again as I began to think about the routine this hospital usually had, looking out the window and saw it was pitch black, indicating to me that it was around 3-4 am.

Most of the nurses and doctors were gone and out for the night, leaving one nurse to keep watch in the hall and about 2-3 others in the main office. I would have to sneak past the nurse in the hallway and head to the main office. Grab a pass and ID that would let me open the doors out of this level of the hospital and open a elevator for me. I moved to walk towards the doors, to hear a sticking sound coming from beneath me, _the socks_. I would have to get rid of them, quickly stripping my feet of the socks I sneaked towards the hallway and hid in the darkness by the wall.

The nurse had his back to me, and to the right up ahead of me was the nurses station. I ran as quietly as I could towards the nurses station and searched the office for any of the items I was seeking for. Quickly finding them by a cup of coffee the nurse was to busy looking at the screen to notice me, and the coffee was right by the mouse of the computer. I waited for an opening and sprung into action when she bent over to her left to gather some files.

Quickly I ran and grabbed the passes and ID and ran back to the opening of the office, looking back to the hallway to see that the nurse had gotten up from his chair and began to search the rooms to check up on the patients. I cursed silently I had enough time to be able to get out into the elevator until they noticed I was gone, I sighed slightly relieved to see that my rooms was the last one in the hall.

Right when the nurse opened a door and ducked his head into a room I ran for it, sliding the pass and ID into the scanner before pushing open the heavy door. I quietly shut the heavy door without it making much of a noise and headed over to the elevators, my trembling hands pushing the ID and pass into the scanner once more before pushing a button frantically. I just hopped that they didn't notice I was gone yet, as I pushed the button over and over again until I heard a loud ping and the elevator doors slowly slid open.

I rushed inside, and pushed the button to go to the first floor, the doors shut and began to head down, the whirring of the engine reminding me just how much trouble I would get in if I was caught, and just how happy I was with how close I was to getting out of this damned place. I knew their was a security camera in the elevator, but had overheard from a couple of nurses having a conversation, that they were broken from a crazy patient that came a couple days ago.

The gods were smiling at her, and Amelia was just happy to have such luck with her. The elevator door opened slowly and Amelia looked around the hallway, finding nobody she quickly jumped out of the elevator and headed into the empty hallways. She tip toed to where she knew would be the entrance to the hallway, knowing there would be a door she would have to open with the pass and ID she had on her person. Then after that she was home free, able to make a run for it from there if anything got out of hand.

Finally reaching the doors, she slid the pass and ID for the last time that she knew she would need to and pushed open the double doors. She continued walking, and almost jumped for joy when she saw the entrance to the hospital, as well as the door that would lead to her freedom. She pushed open the doors and walked out of the hospital and just as she was thanking the Gods for their luck, she heard voices coming from the right of her, by the door.

Freezing just as the voices stopped suddenly, she slowly turned to look at who ever she interrupted to meet face to face with two pairs of golden eyes. Dr. Elric and the man starred at her as she starred back, all the surprise that were on all of their faces slowly changed, Amelia's scared, Dr. Elric and the man determination as they both took a step towards her ready to catch her and bring her back.

Amelia never did like running but there she was hauling ass with both men on her heels, as she ran for the entrance to the hospital that would get her off these grounds. She heard shouts as she began to pick up speed, the sound of tapping shoes and slapping of barefoot on the asphalt as she continued to run. _Oh God help me please! _"GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE!" she heard the angry shout of the man, as she looked behind her to see he was getting closer and closer to her, Dr. Elric just behind them both. "Hell no!" Amelia shrieked behind her as her hospital gown fluttered around her from the wind.

This was just not her day.

Just as Amelia stepped out into the streets she felt a rush of adrenaline and excitement. She had left the hospital grounds, no more pills and entrapment, no more crappy food! Just as she was about to cross the streets, she felt something yank her back, holding onto the back of her gown and forcing her to come to a stop.

No, there was no way that after all of this she was going to be hauled back into that god forsaken place! With her blood boiling she shoved the hand that had held onto her gown so rudely, and spun to face the man she saw before, a look of shock was on his face for her being able to have that much strength before glaring at her.

Amelia immediately faked an attack towards his face, to which he block before she swooped down and gave him a right hook into this gut, causing him to loose the air in his lungs. Amelia saw the chance of while he was momentarily paralyzed and Dr. Elric still a couple feet away, she spun her self and placed her hands on the ground, sweeping her legs into his legs and causing him to fall to the ground with a thud, coughing slightly.

Amelia smirked but it dissipated into a frown as Dr. Elric came closer a feet or two away. Amelia's anger simmering down, she didn't want to hurt him so she spun around and took off towards the streets once more. Unable to see the head lights of a car until she heard a loud honk, Amelia frozen in shock ass the head lights blinded her, causing her to put her arms in front of her face. She heard the shouts of the two men before the car struck her head on, sending her flying before she hit the ground with a thud.

Amelia tried to move, but found she couldn't, she was in too much pain and it burned her to the point of no return. Her foggy gaze landed on the shoes in front of her, stepping on her blood that puddled around her. Amelia's half closed eyes barley registered the concerned golden eyes and shout before she blacked out, unable to hear the sounds going on around her.

* * *

Alrighty and done! Review and favorite! Criticism welcomed.

- M


	5. Chapter 5

_What's going on? What happened?_

I looked down at my hands to see that they were transparent, though you could still make out the shape of my palms and fingers. The last thing I remembered was being in intense pain before I woke up like this. Nobody heard me or saw me, no matter what I did to try and gather their attention. The end results stayed the same, sighing I gave up and just stuck to doing before and looked up.

I watched the scene before me. A car haphazardly parked in the middle of the street, the owner crying and shivering in fear of what he had just done. Two blondes kneeling before a dead girl, to be even more surprised it was me. Dr. Elric and the blonde man checking her, my pulse and finding none. But was surprised me most was what name they were shouting out,"Millie!"

How did they know my nick name? Who are these people? Before I could question anything more I heard a resounding boom coming from behind me and a wind that was slowly starting to pick up. Startled I spun around wondering what it was, but the only thing I saw were eyes watching my every move before tiny black hands shot out towards me, grabbing me and hauling me towards the eyes. I struggled fiercely against them but to no avail, their grip was steely. I felt pain in my head before I was out once more.

* * *

_Dammit, I'm getting tired of waking up like this. _

Rubbing the back of my head, I slowly came to and began grumbling incoherent mutters. _Where am I?_ I looked startled at seeing only an endless white void before me. Okay that was just plain creepy. I moved slowly to my feet, this place had to have an ending, everything had a beginning and ending, right?

That wasn't the only thing that scared me, the ground I was on, even though I expected it to be cold it was warm and even pulsated if you stayed still long enough. I shook my head, I had no time to be acting like a fool and just sit here. I looked around wondering which direction to start in but gave up in seeing that everything looked the same. I began to walk in a random direction.

I walked and walked for what felt like hours, but the void stilled looked the same. I screamed in frustration and gripped my hair tightly in my fingers, "Where the hell am I!?" I screamed at nothing, expecting not to get a reply but was startled when I heard a snicker behind me. _What?_ I slowly turned to the sound resonating from behind me and gasped at what I saw.

The figure didn't have a body, only the shadows showed it's features but didn't indicate what gender it was. The only thing I was able to see were it's teeth as it open and curved into a wide grin. Behind the figure she saw something that seemed to be double doors.

The door had intricate patterns, upon further inspection she saw strange symbols that formed a picture of what seemed to be a tree. the picture contained triangles and circles as well as strange letters and words. The image cut in half by the doors. Surrounding the door were poles attached to frames and the sick part about it was that there were parts of the human body. Some full naked people seemingly scared and reaching out to anything and anyone. Terror set on their face as they cried out in what seemed to be Anguish. Well that's creepy.

"Welcome, Amelia Silver." She froze at her name. The voice sent shivers down her spine, it sounded as though thousands of voices were speaking at once trying to overpower one another. It echoed sinisterly in the white abyss. Amelia turned to the voice behind her.

"Or should I call just Amelia since you were abandoned and such." She stared wide eyed at the person or rather thing in front of her. Amelia opened her mouth to speak but was cut short by the grin that appeared to split it's face in half.

"I bet your wondering why you here right?" Amelia nodded slightly. "You seem to have a bit of trouble remembering what had happened between you and the Elric brothers years ago." It was this that Amelia become confused what the hell was it talking about? ,"Yet when you died you soul came here remembering what had happened but you, your body does not. So let's make a deal, you help the Elric brothers find the philosophers stone and you get your memories back. Well have fun and make this game count won't you?"

"W-wait a minute, wh-who a-are you?" Amelia rasped, her throat suddenly dry. At this question it caused the grin on it's face to widen if that was even possible.

" I am everything around you and I am also you. You can call me whatever you want, some people actually call me God in the other worlds. I am everything at once and yet I am From being as tiny as an ant beneath you feet to the sun that boils hotly trillions of miles away high above you. I am the creator of many universes, mostly this one since I over see and make sure alchemy is used properly. I regulate things and make sure things go according to the way they should be. I am truth." To prove it's point it slowly began to take it's shape into Amelia, this sight and sound of it's body straining to shrink itself caused shivers to run up her spine and leave her trembling.

"Wait a mintute, you said that I would get my memories back if I helped the Elric brothers right? There has to be something missing from this. This just seems to easy!" Amelia overcame her fears and steeled up, she wouldn't be afraid.

" Oh? Smart girl, you'll figure it out what I take from you soon enough! Well this is all the time I have for now. Goodbye for now Amelia, I'll be seeing you soon." Amelia heard a gush of wind and a banging sound from behind her. Shocked she looked behind her to see eyes staring at her as tiny long arms slinking to her. Grasping and groping for her as they caught hold of her arms, legs, stomach and head. Wrapping around her like coils as they took her in.

As they pulled her into the darkness she struggled against him, turning her head to see truth grinning and waving at her, sitting cross legged as the doors shut. She black out soon after. _Not again._

* * *

Done! Review and favorite! Criticism is welcomed!

- M


End file.
